Ep 39 | You Have a Deprivation Mindset

Feeling guilty every time you spend, even when you make good money? Struggling to let yourself enjoy life now because you’re constantly worried about the future?

You might be stuck in a deprivation mindset.

In this episode, Priya unpacks the sneaky ways a deprivation mindset shows up (even in high earners), why it’s not the badge of honor you think it is, and how it’s keeping you from making progress with your money and your life.

Tune into this episode to hear:

• Why over-saving and over-restricting can backfire

• The link between deprivation and binge spending

• How to build a financial plan that actually lets you enjoy your money - guilt-free

The Bottom LineA healthy financial life isn’t about restriction, it’s about clarity. When you stop depriving yourself and start planning with intention, money becomes a tool to enjoy life, not a source of stress.

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THE STUFF OUR LAWYERS WANT US TO SAY: Stash Wealth is a Registered Investment Advisor. Content presented is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended to make an offer or solicitation for any specific securities product, service, or strategy. Consult with a qualified investment adviser (that's us) before implementing any strategy. Investing involves risk, including the loss of principal. Past performance does not guarantee future results. There…we said it.

Transcription

So many of us move through life with this constant sense of scarcity around time. Hashtag busy.

Here's the thing, that mindset is quietly sabotaging both our finances and our ability to actually enjoy the things that we're working so hard for.

Who the fuck am I to tell you what to do with your money?

My name is Priya Milani, currently managing millions of hardworking dollars. Enough foreplay. Let's talk money.

Welcome to the F Word. Smart Money. No.

Hey guys. Welcome back to the F Word. I'm Priya Milani, founder of Stash Wealth, where we help high achieving 30 somethings finally feel like their money's working as hard as they are.

Today I wanna talk about something that I've noticed both in my own life and pretty much everyone else's. It's our obsession with never enough.

The fact of the matter is that we live in one of the most abundant countries in the world, and yet so many of us move through life with this constant sense of scarcity around time. Hashtag busy.

Here's the thing. That mindset is quietly sabotaging both our finances and our ability to actually enjoy the things that we're working so hard for.

I'm gonna start with food because it's kind of an easy parallel to draw. So let's talk about the French lunch versus the American lunch.

Obviously when you picture a French lunch, it's not wolfed down at a desk. It's plated, savored, usually appreciated with all the senses and in a reasonable amount of time. Eating abroad, especially in France, is treated like an experience.

Now, picture the American lunch. It's usually rushed. Maybe it's in the car, maybe it's at the computer, maybe it's half eaten because you got pulled into a meeting.

We do not acknowledge what we're consuming. We eat fast 'cause we're starving. Then we feel guilty or unsatisfied because we didn't even sense the experience of it. Then we wonder why we don't feel full or we're in pain. We're so stuffed. There's like very little in between.

Here's the kicker. We treat money the exact same way.

Let's look at the. Whether it feels like it or not, we have more money flowing through our hands than ever before, and yet so many people feel like they don't have enough — enough to enjoy life, enough to spend without the guilt, enough to stop worrying.

So what happens? We hoard, we overspend, or we swing back and forth between the two because we're not actually acknowledging what we want our money to do for us. We're just consuming without intention.

Obviously, it's never enough. There's no goal. So just like food, when you don't slow down and get clear on what matters most, you'll never feel satisfied. You keep reaching for more without ever enjoying what you already have.

Obviously, in today's day and age, it's so easy to see how the rest of the world operates. It does sometimes feel a little bit like the US culture. Everyone else in so many cultures outside of the US, experiences are prioritized. Meals take hours, vacations are sacred, family gatherings are non-negotiable.

There's an intentionality behind their consumption that makes it feel abundant, even when the portion size or a price tag is smaller. In America, it's almost the opposite.

We order more than we need because we don't wanna feel deprived. More often than not, when I'm out with friends, we order more because we don't wanna feel deprived. We spend more than we should because we don't wanna feel like we missed out.

We keep upgrading cars, homes, Amazon carts, because what if this isn't enough? It's ironic. In our land of abundance, we operate from scarcity.

Okay, so what the hell does this have to do with your money? Let's tie it back to your wallet.

If you've ever looked at your bank account and thought, why doesn't it feel like there's enough? It's probably because you're operating without a clear target. Without one, your brain defaults to more and more and more.

That's why one of the first things I encourage people to figure out is, what do you actually want your life to look like?

We think we'll know when we feel it, but that's never the case. So do you wanna travel internationally every year? Do you wanna buy a second home in the mountains? Do you wanna retire early? Do you wanna upgrade your car every couple years? Do you wanna scale back from your employment so that you can spend more of your time giving to others?

What do you want your life to look like?

Once you know what matters, your money can be directed toward that with a clear intention. The magic is that suddenly every dollar has a purpose.

That's not to say you can't splurge without thinking — guilt-free — but you're no longer just consuming. You're curating.

And that shift, being in the driver's seat, means that your money decisions are now guided by clarity, not just by guilt or emotion or that feeling of never enough.

We had a couple in their thirties, they were both making six figures. On paper, they were doing well. Great, solid. But when we first met, their attitude was like, we feel like we should be saving more, and we definitely feel like we should have more saved up by now. Classic deprivation mindset.

When we actually went to map out their goals — international travel every year, buying a home in five years, having kids in the next two — they realized they actually could see they were already doing enough to afford all of it.

The problem was not the money. The problem was the story they were telling themselves.

And once they had that clarity, they could actually enjoy dinners out guilt-free because they knew the things that they cared about were covered. They knew their goals were covered. They literally couldn't default back to their old narrative of, we're not doing enough. They were. They now knew they were.

But it happened by sitting down and designing the life that they wanna live together, by sitting down and committing to saying what they actually cared about.

Bottom line, deprivation mindset. We all have it at times. It's sneaky. It convinces us that even in abundance, we should feel scarcity. But that's optional.

When you're clear on your goals, your money becomes a tool. You're not spending reactively, you're now spending intentionally, and that's when life feels rich.

Not because you have more, but because you're finally using what you have in alignment with what you actually want.

Okay, that's it for today's episode of the F Word.

If you've been stuck in a deprivation mindset, always feeling like you don't have enough, remember it's not about more. It's about clarity.

And if you're ready to get clear on your goals, your money can finally start working for you. Check out the Stash Plan at stashwealth.com.

And before I let you go, my Best Bite — where I give you the best thing I've eaten in the last week.

For this one, I'm taking you out to Brooklyn, a neighborhood called Fort Green. The restaurant is Miss Ada, or Miss Ada, I think is how you say it. It is the most incredible dip. It's a lamb shawarma hummus, and they give it to you with homemade pita. It is to die for.

So if you happen to be in Fort Green, definitely, definitely check it out. Savor the meal. Enjoy the moment and stop letting not enough run the show.

Alright. See you next time.

Thanks for listening to the F Word with Priya Milani.

If you like what you heard, hit subscribe wherever you're listening and leave us a review while you're at it — or approval junkies.

Don't forget, you can find a ton of great resources, content, courses, and other freebies at stashwealth.com.

Now for the capital F stuff our lawyers want us to say:

Stash Wealth is a registered investment advisor. Content presented is for informational and educational purposes only, and is not intended to make an offer or solicitation for any specific security, product, service, or strategy.

Consult with a qualified investment advisor — that’s us — before implementing any strategy. Investing involves risk, including the loss of principal. Past performance does not guarantee future results.

There we said it.