Ep 57 | What Your Jewelry Signals at Work

A diamond ring is never just a ring. In this episode, Priya unpacks the unspoken double standard around women, power, and symbolism at work, and why the same signal can boost credibility in one setting and undermine ambition in another. Drawing on personal experience and cultural insight, she explores how traditional markers of stability are still interpreted differently for women, especially across corporate and entrepreneurial environments, and asks why women are still expected to signal seriousness through symbols instead of substance.

Takeaways:

• A diamond ring signals very different things depending on who is wearing it, and where.

• In corporate environments, traditional symbols often reinforce credibility; in entrepreneurship, they can unintentionally signal optionality.

• Men’s support systems are read as motivation. Women’s are often read as safety nets.

• The goal isn’t to erase symbols, but to be intentional about the story they tell, and who benefits from that story

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Transcription

Unpacking the Evolving Meanings of a Diamond Ring

A diamond ring does three things socially. It signals commitment. It signals economic stability. It signals social approval. But here's the problem. The meaning of the symbol never evolved, but women did.

Who? The fuck am I to tell you what to do with your money? My name is Priya Malani, currently managing millions of hard working dollars. Enough for a play. Let's talk welcome to the F word smart money.

Hey guys, welcome back to the F Word. For most women, a diamond ring is something you'll be given at some point in your life. You want it. Most of us want it to be, or at least feel like it's enough. Feels like us. But I had a conversation last week that made me realize something. This one piece of jewelry, this one symbol can have two completely different meanings depending on the context you're in. And I've been on the receiving end of both of those.

A friend of mine works at JP Morgan Chase. She's high level brilliant. She made this observation that stopped me cold, She said. Have you noticed that women in most senior roles almost always have huge diamond rings? And not just that, other women respect them more for it. Junior women look up to them and think she hasn't shit together, she's made it. She chooses well.

I told her that was such an interesting observation because I had the exact opposite experience. When I was married. I had a very big diamond ring from one of those recognizable brands. One of those rings that you notice and I work proudly while I was working corporate, but as soon as I started my company, I took it off. Not because I didn't look at it, not because I was ashamed of it, but because I realized something uncomfortable. That ring was saying something about me and it wasn't what I needed to say anymore.

Same symbol, opposite meanings. And that's what we're unpacking today because as we head into Valentine's Day, peak proposal season, peak ring shopping season, peak comparison season, it's worth asking, what are these symbols actually signal? Who benefits from them, and why do women get judged? Either way, let's get into it.

So Valentine's Day isn't just about love, it's about signaling. Every year around this time, jewelry stores see a surge in engagement ring shopping. Social feeds tend to fill up the proposals, and celebrity relationships dominate the conversation. Suddenly, everyone's reassessing their own timeline. There's a reason for that. Psychologists call it social proof. We look to others to decide what success looks like. Celebrities amplify that effect, where someone like Taylor Swift dominates culture not just because of marriage, but because of his ability, power, success, desirability. It reshapes how women think about love, partnership, independence, and what having it all means.

How a Diamond Ring Signals Differently in Work Environments

The ring isn't just a ring. It's shorthand. And that shorthand changes completely depending on who's wearing it. Let's zoom out for a second. A diamond ring does three things socially. It signals commitment. It signals economic stability. It signals social approval. Historically, that was the deal. Man provides, woman is chosen. The ring proves both. And for a long time, that story worked. But here's the problem. The meaning of the symbol never evolved, but women did.

Today, women are earning more, starting companies, taking bigger financial risks, delaying or redefining marriage, choosing partners differently. Yet the symbol stayed frozen in time. So now it creates paradox. In traditional corporate environments, a big diamond ring reads as stability. It suggests she made good choices, she has support at home, she's not reckless. In other words, the ring reinforces the institution. It suggests predictability, order, alignment with the system and institutions. Like predictability for executive women, the ring functions like a credential, an unspoken endorsement. It says I'm part of this world, I understand how it works, I've done the things you're supposed to do. That's why my friend saw it as an S at JP Morgan.

But entrepreneurship runs on completely different currency, as I found out first hand. Founders are evaluated on risk tolerance, hunger, urgency, scarcity, and beliefs. And here's the uncomfortable truth. A visible safety net makes people question your commitment. When I wore that massive diamond ring in the early days of building my company, the subconscious story became can't afford to fail. She doesn't need this to work. She has a fall back.

Now let's contrast that with a man who wears a wedding ring and starts a company. If a man wears a wedding ring as an entrepreneur, it says he has someone at home to handle all that shit while he's out here swinging. Bay also says he may have mouths at home to feed, so he can't afford to fail. He's attempting to build generational wealth. All great signals to an investor, all interpreted as commitment. And Dr. Regardless, a man with a ring as an entrepreneur is a Greek all around. But for a woman, that same ring suddenly means optionality, support, a safety net that makes her less hungry.

That's the double standard. Men get to be supported. Women get discounted for it. That's why I took my ring off. Not because I didn't love it, but because I didn't want it narrating my story. I needed people to see me as someone who was all in, someone who had something to prove, someone who needed this to work. Not because I actually did financially, but because that's the story that makes people take you seriously as a founder. It's messed up, but it's real.

This obviously isn't just about jewelry. It's about how we assign competence, seriousness, and worth based on these symbols. Behavioral finance shows us that people make snap judgments about credibility, intelligence, risk, leadership within seconds. And those judgments are deeply gendered. A big diamond on a man's partner signals his success. A big diamond on a woman entrepreneur signals her optionality, and optionality unfairly gets mistaken as lack of commitment.

That's where Valentine's Day becomes dangerous, because women are navigating multiple conflicting narratives all at once. Be chosen, but not dependable. Be ambitious but not threatening. Want loves but don't meet it. Want success but don't seem cushioned. And the ring sits at the center. All of that tension.

Choosing Intentionality and Substance Over Outdated Symbols

So here's the reframe. I want to offer something I'm still working on myself. A diamond ring is not proof of seriousness or intelligence, independence, ambition, or worth. It's just a symbol. And symbols only matter in context. If you want one, get one. If you love it, wear it. If you don't, done. But don't let a symbol define your risk, Undermine your credibility, or decide your identity for you. And definitely don't let Valentine's Day pressure convince you that one moment, 1 ring, one relationship defines your success.

The real question isn't should women wear big rings? It's why are women still expected to communicate so much through symbols instead of substance? Why does support disqualify us from our own ambition? Why does independence make us intimidating? Why do we still have to manage this perception carefully? That's the work, that's the conversation.

So what do you actually do with all this information? Here's what I want you to take away from this. Be intentional about your symbols. Know what story you're telling and to whom. Your ring choice, or lack thereof, in a corporate boardroom versus a pitch meeting versus your personal life can be different. And that's OK. You're not being fake, you're being strategic about your narrative. Now. Don't overcorrect, Right. Taking off the ring isn't the answer for everyone. Some women keep it on and lean into proving their hunger anyway. More power to them. The point is being conscious of the narrative, not erasing yourself to make other people comfortable.

And one thing I would ask of other women is call it out when you see it. If you're in a position of influence as an investor, a hiring manager, a mentor, notice when you're making these gendered assumptions about a woman and break the pattern. Ask yourself what I think this about a man. Focus on substance over symbols. Whether you wear a ring or not, make sure your work, your pitch, your results speak louder than any piece of jewelry ever could. That's what actually builds credibility.

A Culinary Journey to Portugal for the Best Lamb Chops

OK, before I let you go, I always end the show with my best bite, best thing I've eaten recently. We're recording this just after Christmas, and I took myself away to Portugal for a week to detox and reflect on the business. And I eat at this Portuguese restaurant. I was in a town called. I'm in a butcher, all of this, but it's called Cascais. CASCAIS. It's on the coast. South of Lisbon and the restaurant is called Iris Estoril. It's actually, I think, an Argentinean restaurant. But nonetheless, I had this amazing, amazing dish. It was grilled lamb chops on top of a ruffle foam with little sweet potato gnocchi and crushed hazelnuts on top.

Was so good. I need to get back to Lisbon or to Cascade just to go eat that dish again. It was amazing so, so delicious. So if you happen to be in that part of the world, check it out. Also the town is beautiful. It's a little coastal town, and obviously I went when it was freezing, but you're right on the water and there's a big long boardwalk where you can probably walk a couple miles at least. I know I did over 17,000 steps one day. And it's just so serene, so picturesque. So that's my recommendation.

Don't Let Valentine's Day Pressure Define Your Worth

Finally, I want to leave you with this. If Valentine's Day is bringing up, you know, pressure comparison questions about like where you should be professionally, pause. Your life is your life. You're not late. Your choices are not wrong and your worth is not tied to a ring or relationship or anyone else's timeline. So choose a symbol that serves you. I have a friend who has decided that instead of 1 big diamond, she is an entrepreneur and she has these beautiful delicate little bands with different types of stone.

For her wedding. I think she got maybe one or two. But since then when she had her son, when she has business milestone, she just keeps adding and stacking to them. It's the cutest little gift that she does, celebrates her wins that way and that's becoming her wedding stack. But it's, it's growing as she's growing, which I think is such a cool idea.

Bottom line, don't let outdated narratives decide how seriously you get taken. Oh gosh. OK, that's it for today. If this episode made you see the double standards we're all navigating in a new way, I would absolutely appreciate if you'd share it with another woman who needs to hear it. Maybe put it in your group chat, post it to your stories. Forward it to a friend who's feeling the Valentine's Day pressure. And if you have a SEC and don't mind helping us out, please follow, like, subscribe. It does so much to help other people find the show. All right, see you next time.

Thanks for Listening: Support the Show and Legal Disclosures

Thanks for listening to the F Word with Priya Milani. If you like what you heard, hit subscribe wherever you're listening and leave us a review while you're at it or approval. Junkies. Don't forget, you can find a ton of great resources, content, courses and other freebies at stashwealth.com. Now for the capital F stuff, our lawyers want us to say. Stash Wealth is a registered investment advisor. Content presented. It's for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended to make an offer or solicitation for any specific security product, service or strategy. Consult with a qualified investment advisor that's us before implementing any strategy. Investing involves risk, including.

THE STUFF OUR LAWYERS WANT US TO SAY: Stash Wealth is a Registered Investment Advisor. Content presented is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended to make an offer or solicitation for any specific securities product, service, or strategy. Consult with a qualified investment adviser (that's us) before implementing any strategy. Investing involves risk, including the loss of principal. Past performance does not guarantee future results. There…we said it.