Ep 51 | The Sex Talk That's Really About Money
Money and sex have more in common than we’re comfortable admitting, and that discomfort is exactly the problem.
In this episode, Priya sits down with Dirty Lola (sex educator, retail expert, and pleasure advocate) to unpack why two of the most human parts of life are also the most avoided. From how shame gets wired into us early, to why people delay pleasure until they feel they’ve “earned it,” this conversation reveals how our relationship with money often mirrors our relationship with sex.
What starts as a sex talk quickly becomes a deeper conversation about permission, self-trust, communication, and the real cost of avoidance — emotionally, relationally, and financially. If you’ve ever postponed pleasure, clarity, or confidence waiting for the “right time,” this episode will hit.
Takeaways:
Shame thrives in silence — and both money and sex suffer when we avoid talking about them.
Many people only allow themselves pleasure after a milestone… but that delay comes at a real cost.
Budgeting isn’t just about numbers — it’s about permission, values, and self-worth.
Pleasure (like money) works best when it’s intentional, communicated, and guilt-free.
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Guest Bio:
Dirty Lola is a sex edutainer, speaker, and self-proclaimed dildo slinger known for her no-shame, no-BS approach to sex education. A longtime host of Sex Ed A Go-Go and a featured Sexpert on Netflix’s Emmy-nominated The Principles of Pleasure, Lola has spent over a decade helping people talk about sex with more confidence, humor, and honesty. Whether she’s on stage, on screen, or in conversation, her warm candor and lived experience have made her a trusted voice in pleasure, relationships, and modern intimacy.
Transcription
Perfect. All righty. And I didn't give you the questions ahead of time, but if there's something that you don't like, I, I figure you've, you've been steeped in this for so many years. Yeah, yeah. There's no wild cards. It's really just, understanding your perspective on several topics. And then, like I said, it does go to an editor, so if there's something we need to massage, we can.
Perfect. Okay. All right. Let's do it. Hey guys. Welcome back. Today we're talking about two very emotionally charged topics, money. Sex. Ooh. Honestly, I couldn't think of a better person to have this conversation with than my guest today. You've seen her on the Netflix Emmy nominated show, the Principles of Pleasure, and if you've ever walked into Shag in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, for those of you who are local, you might have actually left with a toy that she personally recommended. I'm very, very excited to introduce you to the incomparable Dirty Lola. Welcome to the show.
Thank you for having me. I'm so happy to be here and talking about, this is our New Year show.
No brand new year. Brand new mindset.
Totally. This is gonna be fun. I really hope we can unlock all kinds of things for people today. Let's just start with something as simple as, how did you get your name Dirty Lola.
It was an accident. It was it literal, dirty Lola literally came from back in the day. I was trying to find a wait an outlet. I was a board monogamous housewife at the time, and I just wanted a place to share my old adventures and connect with people, and I joined, at the time it was Twitter, now it's X, but it was Twitter and I was just trying to figure out a name that nobody would know because I was doing the anonymous thing and I, my middle, my legal middle name is Lolita, so I was trying all these different versions of things and Dirty Lola was the only one that wasn't taken. And then who knew that was gonna become a brand. So
It's such a good brand and pairs perfectly with your title Dildo. Slinger,
Yes.
I'm sure people are listening are like, wait, am I still on a finance podcast? What is happening? You're, you know, we were talking before we started recording about the n the, the numerous parallels between money and sex and, we could literally do a series out of this. There's just so much to talk about. I'm really excited to dive into some topics with you today. I know that you spend your life basically helping people feel less shame around sex, whereas I spend mine helping people feel less shame around their money. Both are obviously very taboo topics. It they. They tend to still be taboo topics, I should say, and elicit a lot of shame. So obviously I know it's a goal of ours to rewire that. And I guess I'd love to start by understanding if you have any theories on why these two topics or the topic of sex triggers that, that reaction, that emotional reaction of shame in people.
I mean, I think for, for both of them, it's that nobody talks about. Either of those things growing up, right? Like our parents, nobody gets talks about money growing up. It's very rare you hear people say, like, my parents really spent time talking to me about financial literacy, about how to save or the value of money. Usually maybe if you got an allowance as a kid. You might have learned a little bit like if you've had to spend your own money, but that's a topic no one ever teaches, and then you are suddenly an adult and you feel stupid because you don't know. Mm. And the same goes with sex, right? Nobody talks about it. It's very taboo. You might get a little bit of, if you're lucky, you might get a little bit of talking about it in, in school, but that's usually just talking about STDs and how to not have a baby. And then suddenly your adult. And everybody expects you to know. And, and I say that from any gender perspective, right? Like you're supposed to know, what you want, how you want it, but how if you've never learned or had a conversation about it, like it, it's not an inherent thing that you just know. And the same goes with money. So I think they, they share that we live in a society that. Both of these things are very out in the open. We talk about money, we talk about sex, but then there's these low lying shames when it comes to personally talking about like your individual money and sexual, experience. It's like, ooh, no. Oh, and then comparing yourself to others.
Well said. It's something so simple, the fact that growing up it's not talked about. And if it is talked about, it's kind of like, oh, we don't talk about that if it does come up. Yeah, that is such a good point. And yet it's such an important part of everyone's life because, money and sex is something we obviously interact with as an adult a lot, and so the shame around it actually costs people a lot. Emotionally, financially, and so that's what we're here to talk about today. So where do you start the conversation when you encounter people who feel shame around sex?
Oh, usually that's not even how they broach it, right? Like people don't come in and say like, I'm feeling ashamed. I may, I've maybe had one person who's been, who's voiced that. Usually you can tell by body language or people are very whispering and it's like, it's just me and you. Girl. You can talk out loud. You don't have to be quiet. You can tell when somebody's hesitant to walk in or they've been dragged in by a friend. That happens often that there's a friend who's like, I'm tired of this. You're coming in, and they're like, oh my god. You know? You see how they react. So my job when people come in is to just kind of make it seem like a normal shopping experience. Like you're at Macy's, like you're at any like shop you would be in. It's, yes, we have art On the wall, like erotic art on the walls, and there's a wall of toys, but we're also just, it's just products. So trying to give them that experience that, hi here. What are your questions? Or what are you looking for? A lot of the questions that I ask are very product specific to help hone people in on it.
And it's not getting into like the salation of it. We can go there if you need to, but usually I'm just like, oh, what's your budget? What, like, are you looking for a particular type? Are you looking? And then sometimes the, the questions that really get in, it's like, oh, do you know how you orgasm? Like what are you looking for? Is this for partner play, non-partner play? Those are where we go. But when you start off just kind of like, oh, what are you looking for? And they're just like, I have no idea. There's so much. And you start breaking it down because they have to think about it in these little pieces. It takes away the big scary, you know, like all, all the sex toys. And I think it also dials back that yes, you're in a sex shop, but it doesn't have to be this hypersexual experience while you're here. This is, you know, sex is just a part of life. Pleasure's a part of life. You deserve it, and it can be thought about in a very methodical way. And when you're in a store, that's what we're doing. We're trying to help you figure something out so you don't go home with something you're not gonna enjoy.
I love that. That's, a really good point. You kind of make it feel a little bit more logistical until you read their temperature and figure out where they're at in their comfort level with the conversation. Right. So you bring up the topic of budget, which obviously is something I'm very curious about. And actually, originally when we met, that's where this conversation started. I was like, I wonder how money and sex and like budget plays with people's desire to pleasure themselves. So let's just start with like the beginning. Yes. You mentioned budget. How does budget factor into people's desires?
How does budget factor into people's desires in a couple different ways. I, I feel we're moving away from the people who come in and expect to get a giant silicone dildo for $10. Silicone is very expensive if we're talking about product and, and weight. And you know, the cost of material silicone is expensive. So when you make something out of it, that item is gonna be expensive, it's coming down. So you're seeing the prices for more premium silicone made products coming down, but forever, sex toys were not made with the greatest of materials. So there was a stretch of time where everything was really cheap because everything was cheaply made. Dildos and things were made out of rubber. That had thalates in them because it's a softener. Thalates are like the, the stuff you smell when you open a fresh shower curtain. Okay. You don't want that in your body. Right. And that, that was what sex toys were for the longest time. We are in a whole new era now, but people who came up in a certain time still have that in their heads of. Of course you, these things cost $10 'cause they were rubber, they had chemicals that softened them. They weren't good for your body, like they used to melt and leach out and all this stuff. The, the vibrators would break. You know, you would just rebuy. Rebuy because they were, it was cheap. $15. It was cheap. It was cheaply made and horribly made. We are so far out of that. There are still some like not as expensive kind of, we call them. Those are the ones I call novelty when they're just like, this is gonna break. But if you know that great, you just want something fun for a little bit. Great. So kind of we've gotten less people coming in looking for like the cheap thing. Or if they are it's 'cause it's for a gag gift. Like, and I'm just like, this is not a story. You're gonna find a gag gift inside. Yeah.
True. But it's a boutique, I wouldn't call it more than a store. It's like a boutique. Shag is, yeah, it's a
Boutique. It's a boutique. And that's when people come in, I think. Then there's the, do I have to spend two to $300 to have an orgasm and it? And immediately I'm like, no, no. Now you're gonna have to spend between, I have a few things that are under 50. Right? Great training wheel items. And I call them that. I said, these are not things that are gonna get you through many years. Right? This is something so you can test it out. So you can see if you like the style, the shape of this, so you can start forming an opinion. It's great when somebody doesn't know what they want, right? But when a person comes in and they're really like shopping and, and you can tell there are people who are just like, this is gonna be the thing and I don't wanna have to come back. I really try to push people towards buying something that's gonna be sturdy and maybe the mid-range price point and really talking to them about why things are that, like expensive or not expensive.
And then when we get to like the two 300, that's for people who like, I know I like this style, I love this company. I'm loyal to this company. I love their stuff. That's when they wanna in invest because they have a rapport with it. So it's striking a balance between what do you need and do you need to spend that money right now? Being okay with coming back and spending more money. I think that's also the other thing. We get a lot of people who, their budget's around between 50 and 80, which you can get a lot between that, but it's, I also tell them like, you are allowed to have more than one toy.
Mm-hmm.
If you get home, and this isn't the be all end all. But it's okay. But you would like to try something else. Come back. You, you know, you can spend a little more money on yourself. You're allowed to spend a little money, more money on yourself. Or I have people who come in and they did spend the $200, 'cause a friend said it was the best thing they've ever had, and then it didn't work for them. And so now they're angry, right? They're angry. They're like, it's a scam. And I'm like, no, that just didn't work for you. And this is why when people say, my friend's told me I should get this. I always ask, do you share a vulva? Because if you don't, it doesn't matter. But kind of getting people out of that, that they've, they've lost money or that they've been scammed out of money because it doesn't work. So there, those are all, it's all these different swirling conversations around. Is it worth it? But people don't have those thoughts when they're buying groceries or clothing or, 'cause how many people buy clothes online that don't fit and they never send them back?
Valid point.
And they keep shopping at that place. They will have a pile of, and I say this as a person who's bought stuff that didn't quite fit the way I wanted it to. And now I'm, it's in a bag to go to charity. So, you know, it's, but people keep shopping. They don't have the same judgment around, like those things that they do when it comes to spending money on sex toys, it's a little bit wild.
So you think of, you think of sex toys as a, an essential good.
Yeah. Yes, definitely. It's their pleasure is scientifically proven. It's good for your brain. It's inherently a part of who we are as human beings. You should be able to access it no matter your relationship status, no matter, you know, if you're able bodied, disabled. I believe that it's a right. Pleasure is a right. And that is why we do have a range of products, and I will never tell somebody, you must get the $200 thing to have an orgasm. Here's something that I know is great. It's a mid-range price. It's gonna cost you 50 bucks. It's rechargeable like it is, got enough bells and whistles. It's gonna last you for a little bit. I want you to get the bang for your buck, but also know that if you ever decide it's okay to, to not have that one thing be your only thing. To come back and like explore a little bit more or add to your collection that I also want people to explore more because people worry about things like, desensitization and that just comes from your brain getting used to the same toy all the time, every time. If you have different types that that doesn't happen 'cause you need to swap it up. But also if you're using the same thing all the time, I don't know everybody's habits, but if it's an often used toy, it's gonna break sooner. So if you don't give it a break and swap it out for a friend. That is going to be the thing, the end of it. It's a piece of machinery, you know? Yeah. Like, yeah.
Do you ever see people come in and like they're, they're convinced they're gonna get something? I, I wanna understand how money plays a role. Like, in, if they get scared away, like do they walk? Do you see people be like, oh, you know what, no, we shouldn't. We're, that's a little too expensive. Let me think about it. What, what is, what are those moments like?
All the time. Really good. Okay. Okay. Yeah, it's usually, the items are, we have a, a lot of teledildonic toys, which are toys that can talk to your phone from anywhere in the world. Oh. So it can talk to each other. So your, your toy will talk to your phone via Bluetooth and then your partner's Phone can talk to your phone to control that toy over wifi. So it can work no matter where you are, as long as you're both on wifi, that is still an expensive thing. The moment a toy becomes, a, an app enabled toy, it hikes the price up. There are companies that make toys that can do that, that are on the little bit of a cheaper end, but it's not everybody's aesthetic. But usually I see this around the couple's toys. 'cause they are, they're around like 2, 2 50 and people will come in, they'll, they'll know they were, they're looking for something like that kind of, that you show them what it is and they're like, oh my God. They get so excited. And then they look at the price and it's sticker shock. Sticker shock. And I've seen them like hem and haw over it. And then they're like, we'll be back. And either, yeah. And you know, I'm often, I'm like, either people have gone somewhere else. I think people also will shop online and try to find, shop around and find something else. Sure. But that will, they will go from so in it to like, Ooh, completely cool. And I've had people come back. I've had people like we thought about it. Sure. Or one of them will come back and go, I'm just gonna get it. It's a gift. It's for us, it's worth it. But people do like say, thank you for your help. And then they go, well, prices,
That's like, as I was doing my research, that felt like a very, like a very strong parallel between money, spending money. We see a lot of times that people limit themselves in their financial lives without even realizing it. Maybe they're waiting. They're waiting for something, permission, a raise a partner, promotion, whatever, some sort of special milestone, to allow themselves a thing. Maybe they say like, oh, I'll hire a cleaning person once I'm making 200,000. Or I'll start investing once I'm married. I'm curious if you found that people limit their pleasure, like, oh, I'll buy that toy. When, what, like what are they waiting for?
I will say we get so many people who when they are buying something more expensive, they are letting us know it's a treat. It's my birthday, the holiday, like right now we're getting more people who are like, it's a gift, it's a treat, it's a thing. They wait. Part of it is that sometimes they're waiting to see if we have sales. We don't often have sales, but they're waiting to see if there's like a percent off. But it's around feeling like they're allowed, like it's, it's my birthday, or I got, or I got a promotion, or I did a thing. So they're treating themselves. Then when the people, there are people who will come in and spend a lot of money and they'll just be like, fuck it, you only live once. Like, I didn't, I wasn't planning on this and, and I just want it. That doesn't happen as often, but it is so weird to see the parallel of the, the people who are doing it just to do it often have a little, is it guilt? Is it, should I be doing it? It's that moment where they realize like, I want everything that's on this counter, but she just told me everything costs $500 and they have to like really do like the Okay, I'm gonna, I'm just gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. Yeah. Because they don't have a reason, right? There's nothing for them to attach it to. They just came in maybe for like one thing and ended up buying all these other things, and so it feels I guess kind of hard for them to do it. And when people can attach it to a thing, it feels more like a reason. Yeah, it's a reason. A reason I can
Do it.
So let's dive a little deeper into that. For those that can't come up with a reason and do deny themselves sexual pleasure, I wanna talk about like what you think is the, cost. What is the cost to denying ourselves sexual pleasure? Obviously, for those of you guys listening, this is not a commercial for Shag. No. It's where I work. Yeah. It just happens to play a nice role in the storytelling. Yeah. What happens when we deny ourselves and we don't have the, the partner or the we want, or that we don't have the birthday? We just, we're just not, we're like, forget it. I don't need it. Yeah. I don't need that yet.
The cost of that is not knowing yourself. Mm, I have had many conversations. I, we get usually get like groups. We get like friend groups, whether they're coming in after brunch or just like they pass by, so they stopped. And there's always like two or three people who are gung-ho and I'll, I'm looking at everything. I'm gonna buy something. Like, we are out, it's a day. And there's always somebody who's just like, no. And they have like a reason and they're trying to talk them into it. That person when we start, if, if we have a chance to really start chatting, it just feels like they've been waiting for somebody else to make it happen. Mm. Right. Like they've been waiting for that right man. And waiting or waiting for that right, you know, partner and they don't want, there's something about buying a sex toy that's like, feels, I guess, like they're replacing. And or it's, they're giving up on waiting for that person or it, it's just there's so much where they've resigned themselves to this space of not getting to know who they are 'cause they're hoping somebody else can figure out who they are. Oh, in that realm, and I talk to so many people about the value of masturbation in learning about your body, making you a better partner because you, if you know how your body works, 'cause we are individuals, everybody's body work works differently. We might have some overlap, but you know, when you know how the things that make you tick make you tick, you can communicate that your partner, when you meet, when two people meet. It's fun to discover those things, but it's even better. What if there's, what if you can skip? What if you could tell each other, I love this. I haven't tried that. I would love to explore this. This is something that has worked for me in the past. And not comparing each other to different partners, but saying like, oh, this is usually how my body works. But you know, with you, let's see. You know, whatever's gonna happen. And I think when we don't explore.
And, and even not even just buying toys. Like we, we offer classes, we offer education.
I was gonna ask the time.
Yeah. When you don't take that time to learn, it really will do a number on you. And, and a lot of people are an unhappy relationships because the physical isn't there. So maybe many things are there. I get far too many people, most of them women who come in who are like. But I get men too, who they're like, everything is great except for that. And because that isn't great, it makes me feel miserable. Mm-hmm. Because I, you know, and then people feel bad, right? Because they don't wanna get a divorce because the sex is bad. But missing out on pleasure and just kind of sitting in this and not experiencing that can do a number on you mentally. So all of that is to say it's like pleasure saves relationships, being able to explore new things, being open to those things. And when you know about your body, it makes it easier to ask for what you want. So you're not, I was literally having this conversation with a friend last night, but sex isn't somebody doing something to you? It's a team sport. You should be cooperating in that together. And that's part of what we also talk about when people are buying products is this isn't just for you to lay back. It's like, what do you like what? How does this work? Here are all the ways you can use this product together. And also people don't make, and people don't make people orgasm. It's like this is a, a team thing. You have to be there mentally. Your body has to be there. And if you have blocks up for whatever reason, 'cause you've just never explored yourself, you feel shame.
That's the other thing. I've had couples come in where one partner is just like, yes, what do you want? You want this sex swing? And the other person's like, oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my god. And then, and we're, I'm like, we're here honey. Your partner wants to buy you like everything in the store and not, 'cause I don't, I want you to buy everything in the store, but you still have shame in the person who loves you, wants that's so tough to explore with you, but because of religion or whatever, you can't open up to that, that. Speaking from a place of I, I've been in that shop for 12 years and I've seen the lifecycle of people. I've watched people meet. Date, get married, have kids. I've met their children and their dogs. I've watched people come in, try to explore and then the only one of them comes in 'cause they've gotten a divorce. Mm.
You know, like, so I see the repercussions of not being open and not like letting go and trying to experience pleasure and connecting with our partners through pleasure and how like money could be there. You could have a big house, all these other things, if you don't have that kind of rapport with each other, it's gonna fall apart. And I've seen the good sides of that too. Right. There's an older couple that comes in and I love it. They play with each other. They're just so playful and funny and they're always picking stuff up. Like, we don't have this one. Tell us about it, Lola. They're my favorite people. And I'm like, oh, this is what it is. It's keeping that spirit alive and remembering like that, you know, pleasure is, is a right, and it makes it fun and it keeps your marriage like going. They're great. You know, they've been married I know for a very long time, and so seeing all these different things, it's like, yeah, we need this. Everybody needs this in some form.
Wow. If that doesn't convince you that depriving yourself of sexual pleasure and that the cost is high, I don't know what will. Man, I love that you said it's a team sport and it's not something that's done to you. Obviously we feel the same way about your financial life, like you shouldn't. You should partake. You have to be there. You have to be involved, to get the most out of it. And, yeah, we all, yeah, be literate.
You gotta know about it. Yeah. You gotta understand
it Be literate.
Totally. We all have a little voyeur in us, I think. And you have a front row seat. That is insane.
Yeah. It's general population. It's, it's like people in the wild. I love it. I love it. It's, it's why I stay like, as one of my many jobs. I stay there because I just, it's such a good way to get to know people and how people move in the world and as society changes. We were talking about that before the changes in society and, and what things look like now as we see like different relationship types kind of rising up and people are like, no, we're doing this. And now those people are aging and they're like, okay, how do three people buy a house together? You know? Yeah. Same thing. How do people buy when people come in and they're in a relationship with multiple people, there are toys. I'm like, oh, here. This won't be easy to sterilize. Here's how you can sterilize these things if you're slow sharing, like they're an investment. And then it's like, who gets these?
Who knew you have to have custody talks on your sex toys.
I get a whole lot of people coming in who are rebuying something 'cause they lost it in a relationship.
Sure.
Yeah. Yeah.
Sure.
Oh my God. Do you find that people spend more money, when, when they're drunk? I'm gonna guess, yes.
Sometimes, sometimes being drunk can just make them like, oh, I want everything. And then they don't end up picking up much. Okay. It's more, I think it's more when people honestly are drunk on each other. When someone is coming in and they're shopping for their partner and you can see the twinkle, like they are like, oh, I wanna get this and I wanna make a night. Or they're like, what can I lingerie and wanna buy a thing? And oh my God, this would be perfect. And they're putting something together. They're not looking at how much it costs when they're picking stuff up. Sometimes they might get up there and we add everything up and they're like, okay, wait, I might need to take something out. But they're still willing to like spin. They're like, whatever. They're gonna do it. When people come in as a couple and they're both very in tune, you just, you see the pile happen, right? The, I call it my, they're the love piles. It's just like, can we leave this here? And they just keep bringing stuff back and making it. And sometimes they've talked about it beforehand. They know what they're looking for. They're like, we're coming in, we're gonna, we wanna get something in this genre, or this is a thing. But then they end up buying more 'cause they're in the shop, the boutique, they're looking around, the music's going, the vibe is happening. They're enjoying themselves. That's when they're, they're buying things. People really, it is about like energy for a lot of folks or just having something in mind. A honeymoon. I'm going somewhere, I'm doing a thing. Or yesterday I had a couple, one of them was on the phone and she was just walking around talking to him and showing him everything. And then like he was like, get that, get that. She's like, are you sure? He's like, just get it. Put it on the counter. That is what makes people spend more.
Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. But you're bringing up another parallel with money, which is having vision. You have to have vision for your financial future, and you have to have vision for your sex life. Yes. And that makes the decisions a lot easier and a lot clearer. Are you ever like, oh, no, no, no, no. Don't buy that. This?
Yes. Well, and, and usually that, and what is this? Yeah. Well, usually it's, it's about if they have expressed certain needs and I've really gotten a lot of information about them. The thing that they may have come in focused on just isn't really gonna work for what they need. Often people will go look something up. They'll come in with a list of things from a friend. And so when they talk to me and then they tell me things about them and what they're looking for, I'm like, Hmm, that isn't really the thing you want. Like this is how this works. And they're like, oh, okay. And I'm like, this is the thing that might work better for you. Everybody wants a rabbit for some reason, but they want rabbit toys for couples play. And I'm like, but if you're wanting to be penetrated and you buy a penetration toy. Are you looking for double refund or, and they're like, oh, I didn't think about that. I'm like, yeah, so you need something over here.
You answered my next question, which is gonna be the, what is like the most overrated pleasure purchase? You, see people indulge in or to indulge in
That in the row. What's it called? The rose that went viral on TikTok. Oh, okay. Yes. So it is a, it's a type of air pulse toy and I understand why it went viral. The, that genre of toy has been around for year, like probably since 2011. Womanizer was the first brand to come out with that genre of toy, and then it exploded. The rose became went viral 'cause somebody was like, this is amazing. It's just a type of it in the scheme of air pulse toys, it is my least favorite in that the way you have to hold it, how you have to use the toy. But it works. And I, I always say like if you are somebody, if you buy an air pulse toy, it's about a 90% chance it's gonna get you off there. It's just that type of toy. As somebody who's tried the gamut because I get a lot of things for free. I don't have to pay for everything. I know like from my range, what worked better for me, what didn't work better, what I didn't like, and so I can relay that. I never say like, oh, I hate that. Don't get it. But I'll say like, okay. This, if you tell me about your body and you tell me like, this is the way you're shaped this particular toy might not work best for you, this one might work better because of the things you've told me about your body shape, and, and how things have to fit on you. But people do come in like, do you have it? And often if they come in, they want it. I'm never talking anybody out of a thing. But if they come in and they stop and they go, oh, are these all the same thing? And I'm like, it's the same type. Let me tell you how they're all different though. Yeah. Let me tell you how they all work. And, and maybe. And sometimes they still will get the rose 'cause it's also price friendly. But I've had people come back and go, I hated this. And I'm like, okay, but did you kind of like that? Like I kind of liked it, but I didn't like the toy itself. I'm like, okay, we got choices.
Okay. So Dirty Lola, you're, you're being such a tease. Set us up for 2026. What are, if you're comfortable sharing, what are a few of the brands or toys that you think the people out there should know about?
I want. If you want variety, right? I think everyone should have a wand because wands are really versatile. They're great. They're great for external play. You can use a wand on a penis, you can use a wand on a clit. Like they're great for positions 'cause they tend to be longer and bigger. My favorite is magic wand. They're the og. They used to be Hitachi. There's a whole history behind why it's not Hitachi anymore, but it's magic wand and they are classic amazing and they make different sizes now and they come rechargeable. The original used to plug into the wall. It still does. They still produce the original, but it only had two settings. Fucking, oh fuck, so many other wands. So a wand toy is a great thing to have in your collection, an air pulse toy. My favorite brand is womanizer. Don't like the name, but love the brand. They're the og. I like their motors. They have a lot more shapes. I like that you can pull the nozzles off and wash them, and for a lot of them, they sell other sizes. So it's so versatile for everybody's body because you know, sometimes people buy a thing and then get home and realize like, oh, this doesn't work, and then you don't, can't use it with womanizer. You're like, oh wait, they have a set with different shapes. Let me go and I can pop one on. Great, great, great. Love that For your handheld toys, if you're somebody who's like, I like a lighter touch. I don't want it to be crazy, but I want something that works well is it is also cute. I love Dame. Dame is a brand. They are women owned. They're New York. They, they Kickstarter, their first toy. I think they were the first company to be able to crowd source for toy. Their stuff is really aesthetically pleasing, but it's got a good range for those of us who, well, not me, I am not a sensitive girl. I like power, but who are like, I don't need a lot, but I want something that can go up to a level and then we'll stop and not go too crazy and everything is really lovely. Of those, my favorite is the Dip, which is their budget friendly version toy that they made. They've been making some, they make some toys that are $200 and then they have some things that are like under 50, which is lovely. But I love the dip. That one is, I didn't think I was gonna love it 'cause it doesn't really get up there in power, but it works and it's compact and it's pretty, and you, it's easy to take with you when you're traveling. It's really great. What are some other things those, I just always have something small that you can use with a partner.
So you said magic wand. Magic wand. Womanizer, womanizer. Dame Dame. Those are great. And then maybe something small that's like what? Travel friendly.
Yeah. I mean, and all of those, like all of those brands I just listed make travel friendly versions of their toys. So like magic wand makes a micro dame. All of Dame's toys are small on the smaller side. Okay. They have, they do have a wand, but they make things that are smaller, in their thing. And then, yeah, that's, and then unless we're venturing over into butt stuff, that's your, like just your category, just to have like something small for partner play that you can fit between you. A wand. It can be versatile, it can be used alone. It can be used with a partner. Great for doing positions. Air post toys are just fun. I call them a surprise party in a waiting room because it just hits you suddenly. You're like, oh my God. Like this is a thing.
Yeah. Besides power. Is there, I'm curious, asking for a friend, actually. Is there a, like luxury tier of sex that is available that maybe we don't even know, you know, how they say vanilla? Like what, what's is, is there something that sex toys unlock that's a different tier of luxury sex? Hmm.
Luxury ness and sex toys tend to gear towards like packaging, marketing, and aesthetics of the, okay, right? They still adhere to the same shapes, similar shapes. Some of them have more proprietary shapes. Laylo is a company that is steeped in luxury, right? Everything they make comes beautifully packaged. All of their toys are designed a certain way. They do have a lot of things that are part of the like category we call those. They've, they've become kind of just like common shapes within the industry, right? So they, they have a lot of common shapes, but they've put their own spin on it. And then what makes it lux is they have a 10 year warranty. So they have, you have a one year full warranty, a 10 year warranty that covers like for half the toy. You have to like register your product. That is when you start getting into things. Yeah. Okay. And then we talked about teledildonic. And things that are, that can talk to each other. There's like a whole other category.
It sounds like at a whole nother level.
It, the, this should have been our, this should have been our Christmas episode.
Yeah. It's such a broad, but it's such a broad industry. Like when you walk into a store, you are seeing the tip of the iceberg. Even in the biggest store, the, they're, the sex trade industry is a multi-billion dollar industry and it's so many different companies, so many different, like, and one company. Now we're having monopolies within this extra industry because companies have started, former conglomeration like Love Honey Group, who would've thought owns womanizer, so was love honey. This is the stuff I nerd out about, but it very is like finance, right? It's tied into Absolutely. They're all companies, so a lot of them aren't even competition anymore. They're all a part of like the same home company. And really like it comes down to aesthetic, right? It's aesthetic. What are you looking for? Something that's more expensive is gonna have in the scheme of things, and I'll tell the caveat to that, but in the scheme of things, when it's more expensive, the motor's gonna be a little bit better, the warranty's gonna be a little bit better. There's gonna be some other things around it. The little bells and whistles. How, how it works. They're gonna maybe have more buttons and things to give you more choices on how to operate. That's what happens when you put more money into a product where you goes out to market. Then you have a company like Satisfier who's like we are gonna make everything the really mid-range price and we're still gonna give you all these things, but they make so much the people come ask for a satisfying, I'm like, girl, which one? They have like over a thousand SKUs. It's so many. So they make their money by having abundance, right. And making it cheap so people will keep, buy all their different types of things. I can imagine people come in and they're like interested, but then if the packaging or the prettiness, it kind of tips them over to like, oh, okay, maybe I'll get that one that I like how it looks or how it feel. It feels more luxurious.
People want that lux feel. They want the color of it. They want the like, there's so many things people look at that are Yeah. Part of the, yeah. It's not
Just which is gonna be the best orgasm. I want the total experience. And I, again, I am not, advertising shag, but I actually have been in the store and many years before I knew you. And it is beautiful and it is a more elevated experience. So, you know. Yeah. If you're in Williamsburg, you should, you should go by, Dirty Lola. Leave us with your number one rule for better sex.
Ooh, ooh. It's gonna be boring. No, but the sex won't be No. But communicate, do some homework before, like having that talk. The night before, whatever the week of whatever your connection moment make, but making time, right? That's not in the bedroom. Don't have these talks when you're about to have sex because you are gonna make each other. Something might happen, sometimes it might be wonderful and add to it and sometimes you might have feels and have to think about it. But set up a separate night. Get cozy on the couch. Pour some wine, pour some tea. If you don't drink and sit down and, and talk about some things that you've been interested in? I remember when I found kink, it was in a book and I was so afraid to like talk about it with my then husband. 'cause I was like, I think this is turning me on and this is not how we have sex and I would like to have sex like this. But to have the conversation, like sit down, what are we exploring? What have it, like what's interesting to you?
What a great parallel. Another great parallel to finance was funny.
Yes. Communicate.
Yes. That was a perfect note to leave us on. Actually before I let you go, that was awesome. Thank you. Truly communication is key to everything in life. Yes. Before I let you go, we do a thing called Best Bite. I'm a big foodie, and I always am and I'm always on the hunt for a new place to check out. You're in my neighborhood ish. Wow. So, I'm very excited to know from you what is one of the best things you've eaten recently. I want you to give me your can't miss recommendation for where I need to go and what I need to try.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Okay. Okay. Okay. It's a little divy. The best bur I've ever had is the Commodore, and it's in our neighborhood. It's on, is it on metropolitan? Okay. It's, it's not far from the shop. Their burger. It, it's the bun. I usually hate burger buns 'cause they're boring. Like they're not good. The bun, the burger, all the things on it, the way it's constructed, it doesn't fall apart. It's so good. Just like everything is so good. I have never had a burger be the thing that, but if somebody goes, I'm like, oh, you've gotta go to the Commodore. Their fries are abundant and tasty. That's my like, yeah.
Would you call it orgasmic?
Yes. The first time I had it, I just sat there and just went moaned.
Oh man, that's too good. The Commodore the burger. It's funny, I was just having a conversation with a couple who, went through top lists of burgers in New York. Yeah. And every week they'd go to a different burger drawer. I love a good burger store that I know what a fun date night. Yeah. Always on the hunt for a good burger. So thank you so much. I'm definitely gonna go check it out at the Commodore, burger and fries. Wonderful. Where can people find you, follow you, your journey? All the things. Give us your handles. Tell us where to go. How do we stay in touch?
Dirty Lola. You can find me on Instagram, under Dirty, dirty Lola. I'm also on threads because of that. Also under Dirty Lola, and you can check out my site, dirty lola.co. Message me through any of those avenues and I always message back.
Wonderful. Really appreciate it. You've truly given a new meaning to the F word today on the show. Thank you so much for being here and just bringing a fresh voice perspective, openness, judgment, judgment free zone. We both agree money and sex should obviously benefit from more conversation. Yeah. So those of you listening, if today's episode helped you see things through a new lens, or if you're feeling inclined, please share this episode. Share the love, pun intended. As always, make sure you're subscribed so you never miss an episode. And if you liked this one, leave us a review, a rating. It really helps us grow the show, reach more people so we, so we appreciate it. All right, that's it for today. See you next time.
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