Think back to the last fight you had with your significant other. What was it about?
If you’re like 70% of married couples, it was about money. A study has shown that more couples fight about money than any other topic, including sex. Whaatttt?!
Well, we believe it. Think about it—people are often just as mum about their finances as they are about their sex lives. Historically, money has been something you just don’t talk about. But that has to change, and here’s why:
When you marry someone, you marry their financial situation, too.
Getting intimate with each other’s finances is critical to your long-term success, both financially and as a couple.
MONEY AND RELATIONSHIPS STATS
Check out some of these stats from several recent surveys about money and relationships:
- 36% of people say that talking about money makes them uncomfortable.
- 72% of people report feeling stressed about money at least some of the time. 26% say it’s more like ALL of the time.
- 70% of married couples argue about money more than household chores, togetherness, sex, snoring, and what’s for dinner.
10 QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE SAYING “I DO”
Talking about money might seem unromantic, but it’s actually one of the best things you can do for your relationship. Even Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have had the money talk. With that in mind, here are 10 questions to help start a conversation with your partner about finances.
- What are your thoughts on having joint accounts in the future (or will I always Venmo you for half the rent each month)?
- What are our financial goals? Short-, mid-, and long-term?
- Do we want to be a dual-income household or will one of us stay home to help raise a family?
- Who is in charge of making sure the bills get paid on time?
- Have you ever considered a prenup?
- Do you have any savings (or an emergency fund)?
- Do you carry a balance on your credit cards, and what’s your credit score?
- Are your parents financially secure or will we need to plan on supporting them (partially or fully) at some point in time?
- How do you feel about loaning money to family or friends?
- What would you do if you won the lottery?
While there’s no set right or wrong answer for these questions, they can help you better understand your future spouse’s values and priorities, and can prevent unpleasant surprises down the road. It’s one thing to know about your spouse having $200,000 in student debt before you walk down the aisle—but finding out about it post-wedding can be a nasty shock (that debt is yours now, too!).
GET PROFESSIONAL (MONEY) HELP
Finally, don’t be afraid to bring in a third party to help. It’s much easier to hear this stuff from a professional, and they’ll probably bring up details you didn’t even think of. They’ll also be able to provide you with solutions, so you’re not going at it alone.
As daunting as all of this is, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel—discussing money with your partner now can bring you closer together, and will likely make for smoother sailing going forward. #relationshipgoals
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